Norfolk Nerd Ramblings   The mad ramblings of an aging nerd.

It would appear that the lovely personage who is John Prescott MP has stated that “nothing good ever came out of bloody Norfolk since Oliver Cromwell”.

Clearly Mr Prescott is an ignorant, uneducated, twerp,  Oliver Cromwell ACTUALLY comes from Cambridgeshire, and obviously he’s completely unaware of such unimportant people as Horatio Nelson, Robert Walpole (The first Prime Minister, a position that Prescott will never achieve!), Turnip Townshend (founder of modern agriculture) and Captain Vancouver  (helped to discover the New World) all of whom DID come from Norfolk.

You just stay in Hull Mr P. which is well known as the centre of the universe.  Don’t bother coming to Norfolk, you might get egg on your suit to match your face!

And we WILL thump you back!

These made me laugh, so I’m passing them on:

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing “father’s details;” or putting it another way….

Who’s your Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms. .

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it
replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country . Please
advise.

7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? child B who was also borned at the same time…..well, I don’t have clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordo Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening.. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St, mine might have remained unfertilized.

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Recently I have been looking at Flock a ‘Social Networking Browser’.  It’s a network browser like Firefox or Internet Explorer, but it incorporates tools for Social Networking Sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Digg, YouTube  et al.

I’m finding it a really useful way of keeping in touch with all of these without having to browse between all of them or having a multitude of browser windows open or loads of notification utilities advising you of updates.

If you’re struggling to keep up with everything, I recommend you give it a try, it’s free, so what do you have to lose!